alone.
"i hold everybody's hands, but when will someone hold mine?"
-Henrik Batallones :P
i say to you, dear boy, you ought to keep your hands to yourself.
last term's society class taught me to view all sorts of tribulations with optimism. i'd cite an example, but i do not solicit sympathy. anyway, yes, problems aren't supposed to be taken in a very cynical disposition. according to my professor, ms. judy sibayan (who also happens to be, by far, the most eccentric person i have ever encountered in my life), our problems are but gifts that increase our wisdom, and therefore, enrich our souls so that we'd be worthy enough to, say... return to a place where all enlightened souls dwell. 'til then, we'd be reborn again and again, faced with situations that worry us - gifts. i'm quite sure there's something wrong in my explanation here XD but the point is, well, being troubled is okay!
... and that includes the feeling of loneliness. the ominous, hopeless, end-of-the-world, nobody-will-ever-marry-me kind.
no tickets to the notebook. no holding of hands. no walks by the bay. no dancing together in the rain. no exchanges of intimate glances in class. no passionate lovemaking in a friend's condo (tus XD).
loneliness.
several months of it has definitely created a bit of change in me. naturally, it covered me in "i'm pathetic" at first. however, things started to turn around as those months of seclusion passed, in which i was disconnected from the world of downright, idealistic romance.
we are all aware of the benefits of being single. more freedom, more time for our friends and family, more activities (which our ex-partners would otherwise have not allowed us to engage in), more time to focus on work, yadda yadda yadda. point is, it removes that love leash that can be smothering at times, that is, in the milieu of a relationship that doesn't seem to work, hence, the breakup.
does this explain why loneliness is a friend? first level of meaning - you ain't seen nothing yet.
note: this is but an attempt to regurgitate the thoughts of people who have "realized"! and this isn't emo stuff. it is TRUTH.
before i state anything, i must admit first: yes, i am scared... scared of being lonely. and i am not speaking of loneliness because of being single - that is what i enjoy. i speak of the one that a person feels while IN a relationship. of all the negative emotions that can be felt, this is the one i abhor the most.
has it ever occured to you that falling deeper in love can make you more vulnerable?
being attached to someone you're crazy about is indeed breathtaking... to the point that you really will not be able to breathe. all the hype and excitement can turn into a consuming wave of sadness that drowns you and swallows you into the depths. you cannot save yourself from it.
it's not because you doubt his or her loyalty. trust is an entirely different issue; it is something that i'm personally good at. it is because you become so damn insatiable that it makes you weak. enough is not enough. you hunger for more as soon as you've stopped feeding. and what's worse is that you can't really do anything about it. and that is where loneliness comes in. you can never be satisfied even if you have love, and you become miserable just feeling it.
it's pointless to have a dreamboy/ girl. you'll just end up having nightmares. and a relationship is tantamount to an overdose of sleeping pills. that's idealism for you :))
truly, it is better to be alone than to feel lonely while being with someone!
i should know XD i felt it; just did not know how to handle it (elaboration denied).
and i do not want to do so at this time.
i do not regret that i have failed, i just think that i really screwed up :P
but, no regrets. and no more mistakes, either.
therefore, may i just point out that
BEING SINGLE IS THE LIFE ^_^v (as of now)
------
and now, back to my newly gmasked psp... :D :D :D
-Henrik Batallones :P
i say to you, dear boy, you ought to keep your hands to yourself.
last term's society class taught me to view all sorts of tribulations with optimism. i'd cite an example, but i do not solicit sympathy. anyway, yes, problems aren't supposed to be taken in a very cynical disposition. according to my professor, ms. judy sibayan (who also happens to be, by far, the most eccentric person i have ever encountered in my life), our problems are but gifts that increase our wisdom, and therefore, enrich our souls so that we'd be worthy enough to, say... return to a place where all enlightened souls dwell. 'til then, we'd be reborn again and again, faced with situations that worry us - gifts. i'm quite sure there's something wrong in my explanation here XD but the point is, well, being troubled is okay!
... and that includes the feeling of loneliness. the ominous, hopeless, end-of-the-world, nobody-will-ever-marry-me kind.
no tickets to the notebook. no holding of hands. no walks by the bay. no dancing together in the rain. no exchanges of intimate glances in class. no passionate lovemaking in a friend's condo (tus XD).
loneliness.
several months of it has definitely created a bit of change in me. naturally, it covered me in "i'm pathetic" at first. however, things started to turn around as those months of seclusion passed, in which i was disconnected from the world of downright, idealistic romance.
we are all aware of the benefits of being single. more freedom, more time for our friends and family, more activities (which our ex-partners would otherwise have not allowed us to engage in), more time to focus on work, yadda yadda yadda. point is, it removes that love leash that can be smothering at times, that is, in the milieu of a relationship that doesn't seem to work, hence, the breakup.
does this explain why loneliness is a friend? first level of meaning - you ain't seen nothing yet.
note: this is but an attempt to regurgitate the thoughts of people who have "realized"! and this isn't emo stuff. it is TRUTH.
before i state anything, i must admit first: yes, i am scared... scared of being lonely. and i am not speaking of loneliness because of being single - that is what i enjoy. i speak of the one that a person feels while IN a relationship. of all the negative emotions that can be felt, this is the one i abhor the most.
has it ever occured to you that falling deeper in love can make you more vulnerable?
being attached to someone you're crazy about is indeed breathtaking... to the point that you really will not be able to breathe. all the hype and excitement can turn into a consuming wave of sadness that drowns you and swallows you into the depths. you cannot save yourself from it.
it's not because you doubt his or her loyalty. trust is an entirely different issue; it is something that i'm personally good at. it is because you become so damn insatiable that it makes you weak. enough is not enough. you hunger for more as soon as you've stopped feeding. and what's worse is that you can't really do anything about it. and that is where loneliness comes in. you can never be satisfied even if you have love, and you become miserable just feeling it.
it's pointless to have a dreamboy/ girl. you'll just end up having nightmares. and a relationship is tantamount to an overdose of sleeping pills. that's idealism for you :))
truly, it is better to be alone than to feel lonely while being with someone!
i should know XD i felt it; just did not know how to handle it (elaboration denied).
and i do not want to do so at this time.
i do not regret that i have failed, i just think that i really screwed up :P
but, no regrets. and no more mistakes, either.
therefore, may i just point out that
BEING SINGLE IS THE LIFE ^_^v (as of now)
------
and now, back to my newly gmasked psp... :D :D :D
BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND
ADVANCED HAPPY NEW YEAR! XD
the words escaped at 4:03 PM
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