right under my nose.

sometimes, what we're looking for is right where we left it.

i just realized that i've been wasting so much time on all the wrong things while the right ones waited for me to truly realize what nonsense i was doing.

the sad part is that, although i HAVE realized, i haven't quite stopped.

UNTIL NOW.

who would have thought that someone was just waiting right there all this time? he never disappeared (never showed himself either); he was just... there. i deliberately failed to value his presence even if it was plain as the nose on my face. nonetheless, he persisted... and i ignored. stupid me.

it's just a bother that there is so much in the way of what i would call a manifestation - of words left unsaid and things left unnoticed. i don't know what to do at the moment, but one thing is for sure... there's so much more in him, surprisingly. really, did i have to squander all those months on someone who could not memorize me, someone who could not comprehend my frame of mind, someone could not say the right things every frigging time... unlike this guy can?

and those aren't the only wonderful things i just found out about him.

if only it was that easy. shit. things are too complicated.

it's so hard to be me.